How I Get My No-Risk-All-Reward Adrenaline Fix

Me: “Long time no see!”

Server: “Yes! Have you been busy lately?”

Me: “Actually I am looking for a job now, so I don’t often go out to eat these days! Haha.”

Server: “Oh, haha. Well it’s nice to see you! Have you been having a good summer?”

Me: “Yes! It’s been beautiful lately, hasn’t it! Oh this is my bill here…”

Server: “Oh thanks. Yes, we’ve had great weather. Do you want your receipt?”

Me: “Um, no I don’t need it. Well thanks again! See you next time.”

Server: “Yes, see you next time! Bye bye!”

 

That’s it - right there. A simple conversation like that can create such a rush of adrenaline and endorphins for me. When it has been too long since my last one, I miss it. I wish everyone could experience it. What kind of world would this be if every person were willing to create something in common with people from a different background simply by being curious and brave? The only risk is your own self-doubt and, perhaps, a little temporary embarrassment. What am I talking about? Why, a simple conversation in a second language, of course! For me, as a native speaker of English, that second language is Mandarin Chinese.

There are so many things we humans have to learn, or choose to learn, in our lifetimes. Our experiences of some new skills, such as riding a bike, seem remarkable when first we learn them but then rather quickly fade from remarkable to ordinary. So it’s somewhat rare to learn something that still gives you a genuine spine-tickling thrill five, ten, fifteen-plus years down the road (no pun intended).

The lion’s share of my conversations with people in Mandarin tend to involve me explaining when and where and how I learned it, so it’s fantastic when I get to speak to someone who already knows that part of my story; we can move on and talk about other things, even if it’s still “small talk”. These short tests of my Mandarin fluency, when I don’t know exactly which question will be thrown at me next, just put me on cloud nine. I don’t know why speaking a second language gives me such a sense of accomplishment but even when it’s a simple basic conversation nestled into a day otherwise saturated in English, it just excites my brain. The only thing I can liken the feeling to is how good it can feel to sing or dance.

The beauty of learning an additional language (or languages) is that, just like with our native languages, it’s nearly impossible to learn every single word so there isn’t really a way to “finish” learning. Therefore, there is very little pressure to achieve an expert level (unless you want to become a translator). I am not fluent, and the best part is I don’t have to be. Can I give a speech on any topic off the top of my head? No. But I can do all kinds of things I had no idea how to do when I started and each one of them still feels a little amazing. I can order food. I can get a taxi. I can travel around in China, alone, just fine. I can solve a problem. I can make a new friend. The hardest part (i.e. getting started) is over, and now any new things I learn are just a cherry on top. I will always feel that I could be faster, more fluent, a better reader, have more varied grammar and certainly be better at writing. But, most of the time, none of that bothers me. Any time I feel like all these years of studying could be slipping away, I can just pop down to my favourite Chinese restaurant and have a little chat, pick up one of my old textbooks to read, call or email a native speaker friend, or watch a “slow Chinese” YouTube video to know that all that hard work is present and accessible in my brain.

Many native speakers of English find learning a language such as Spanish to be easy and a language such as Mandarin to be difficult; I just happen to be the other way around. I was lucky because I got to choose to learn Mandarin in high school. Years later I tried Spanish but found it nearly impossible for my brain (maybe Romance languages aren’t for me? I don’t know…). There are so many languages to choose from that it’s a shame when anyone is forced to learn one in particular rather than getting to try a few in a very basic way and then continue on with one their brain is naturally attracted to. One of our main goals in creating bilingual storybooks (as well as the audio tracks and other products to accompany them) is to offer parents all over the world the chance to expose their kids to the sounds of an additional language at a young age so that, ideally, picking up a second (or third, or fourth) language later in life might be easier for them. In fact French is the only immersion option in public schools where I am currently living so my son is taking that and it’s okay that I can’t provide him with a Mandarin-immersion school experience right now. Ultimately, I just want every kid to get the chance to feel the same joy that I feel when I get to speak my second language, no matter what their second or additional language(s) might be. That sense of invincibility takes a little hard work to come by, but it’s totally worth pursuing.

I once saw a funny video online of a skit about the stress of ordering food in your second language (in this case it was a Cantonese and English interaction she was demonstrating). I just had to comment, “You have captured every language learner’s worst nightmare very well. Well, maybe public speaking in your additional language is worse buuuuut those high pressure, time sensitive transactional moments are way up there on the scary-scale!!” It got a ton of likes, so it seems that sentiment resonates with a lot of people. It got me thinking about this blog post because of course I have started off referencing an experience I had leaving a Chinese restaurant feeling so good about speaking Mandarin with a staff member (with whom I often would chat). I realised that the difference is that the conversation I had was at the end, when I was paying, not during the ordering process, so the staff member had time to chat with me and not rush. So that's one piece of confidence-building advice: If you are worried that you will inconvenience a native speaker by practicing speaking your additional language with them while they are working and they are under pressure to move on from the interaction with you to the next customer, try doing it when you are paying instead of when you are ordering because they are more likely to have incentive (and time!) to chat a little!

Learning an additional language may seem intimidating but there are things you can do to create some ease in the experience of learning. Recognise that every single person speaking every single language in the world has an accent to someone - even those who speak their same language in their same country. Accept that you will never be “done” the learning part. Look for opportunities to practice where you don’t feel pressured by time or the idea you are inconveniencing another person. Think about how heartening it is to see someone making the same effort you are, or the look of appreciation you see on a person’s face when you can share even a few small words or short phrases in their language. And finally if you allow yourself to “shop around” for the language (or languages) that suits your brain the best, then even if you have to put it down and pick it back up several times over the years, you will still be signing yourself up for a lifetime of pleasurable, mind-expanding, friendship-forging, confidence-building, entertaining fun.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, here’s that conversation again the way it was actually spoken, to the best of my memory (with Pinyin at the bottom, for beginners):

Me: “好久不见!”

Server: “是的！ 你最近忙吗?”

Me: “其实我正在找工作，所以这几天不怎么出来吃饭！ 哈哈.”

Server: “哦，哈哈。 很高兴见到你！ 你暑假过得好吗?”

Me: “过得很好！ 最近景色很美啊！ 哦，这是我的账单…”

Server: “哦谢谢。 是的，我们的天气很好。 你要你的收据吗?”

Me: “嗯，我不需要它。 好的，再次感谢！ 下次见.”

Server: “下次见啦!”

Me: “Hǎo jiǔ bù jiàn!”

Server: “Shì de! Nǐ zuì jìn máng ma?”

Me: “Qí shí wǒ zhèng zài zhǎo gōng zuò, suǒ yǐ zhè jǐ tiān bù zěn me chū lái chī fàn! Hāhā.”

Server: “Ó, hāhā. Hěn gāo xìng jiàn dào nǐ! Nǐ shǔ jià guò dé hǎo ma?”

Me: “Guò dé hěn hǎo! Zuì jìn jǐng sè hěn měi aì! Ó, zhè shì wǒ de zhàng dān…”

Server: “Ó, xièxiè. Shì de, wǒmen de tiānqì hěn hǎo. Nǐ yào nǐ de shōu jù ma?”

Me: “Ēn, wǒ bù xūyào tā. Hǎo de, zài cì gǎn xiè! Xià cì jiàn.”

Server: “Xià cì jiàn la!”

 

I would love to hear your stories of a time you were brave enough to have even the briefest conversation in an additional language out in the real world. Email us a hello@littlecrabpress.ca or tag us on social media @littlecrabpress. And if Mandarin is your jam, too, click here and we’ll send you that dialogue as a study sheet.

Enjoy the ride,

Rebecca